So, yesterday I started work in a new office. I have my own cubicle, my own whiteboard, even a view out the window! I was introduced to a bunch of new people, and then I had to say goodbye because I had to get to the hospital.
See, yesterday was also the day that I had to get an upper endoscopy. This is a procedure by which they take a camera, and shove it so far down your throat that they can see your intestines.
Part of this process involves putting the
victim patient to sleep, because nobody can sit idly by while that’s going on. The thing is, it raised pressure locally, specifically, in my face. I ended up with several burst capillaries in my eyeballs, and pinprick freckles in the skin around the eyes. On the whole, it looked a little weird and kinda cool.
However, overnight the pinprick freckles spread out and congregated into a real bruise. So now I’m going back to work in a new place with a shiner I didn’t earn.
Allie and I think I should play it up. My favorite angle so far is, “Sure, it looks bad, but you should see the drummer for Nickelback. Oh, no wait, you can’t. They only allow family in the IC ward… All I’m saying is they won’t be coming back to Baltimore anytime soon.”